Wednesday, June 5, 2013

Stay at Home Moms are Underrated

I admit it, I have been very blessed, our girls have been blessed, sweet man has been blessed, the whole family has because I have been able to stay home with the girls.
For over 20 years we have owned our own business. While I work within the business from home, it has allowed me to be home with our girls also. When our oldest was a toddler, I had a job as an apartment manager. Her babysitter was just across from the office, she was more like a grandmother to her than a babysitter. Due to family commitments, she only got to watch her for 3 years. At which time, we put Dani in pre school. Then came Abi. After much searching and interviewing, we found a lady to watch her when she was just a couple of months old. In less than a week, that turned into our worst nightmare. I got a call at work one day from the woman’s mom saying that her daughter took too much medication and had no idea who my precious baby was. At that moment, we decided to buy a house and jump full steam into our business. Never again trusting someone else to raise our children. We did put Abi in a pre K twice a week to socialize her and give her a Christian environment. I unfortunately did not home school our girls. Quite honestly, I did not know how. I was frightened and uneducated on the process. If we could do it over again, I would certainly home school.

A few years ago we watched a sermon from Craig Groeschel. In it, he mentioned that one of the biggest things that bothered his wife was when women looked at her and said “I wish I could be a stay at home mom”. Almost a cross between envy and condemnation. I can not tell you how many times over the years I have gotten that same response. People have thought I do nothing. They have tried to get me to watch their children, take their children places. Numerous times we have ended up with kids days at a time with no call from the parent. And most certainly no gratitude. I have even had people say it is nice you don’t have to work. Hm besides the fact that I am the office end of the business, since when is raising 2 beautiful girls not work? Not that I complaining, I would never trade it for the world. Craig Groeschel insists that everyone could be a stay at home mom (single moms excluded of course). Does it take sacrifice? Yes! Does it take commitment? Yes! Do your children always get the latest and greatest? No, but they have YOU!! Your time can not be replaced. What an honor my husband has to be able to say, my wife was/is a stay at home mom. WE raised our children. I am a proud wife that He stepped up to the plate and made that happen. Even if it meant, early on, that he had to work 3 jobs. He did it!! Now he jokes that he worked all that overtime when Dani was a baby because it was better than coming home to a crying baby. Or is he joking?

A stay a home mom is not an out, ladies, for you to watch soaps and ignore your kids. They need you! They need your love, support and commitment. I have seen plenty of moms (mine included) sleep all day and the children have to take care of themselves. You are not only cheating your kids, you are cheating yourself, your husband and your family. That is not what staying at home means. 

I am a proud mom to not just my girls but many over the years. I have also been a girl scout leader, a school volunteer, a soccer coach, team mom over and over. My hats a numerous! And I wear them with honor.

We have a friend, I will call her Peggy (well because that is her name). She was an executive with a great career and the least likely to stay at home with her children. Guess what? She jumped in with both feet to stay at home. With facebook, I am able to see all of these wonderfully crazy things she is doing. Making her own laundry soap, turning boxsprings into art, it is a hoot to see what her next “adventure” will be. My point is, being at home with your children and making the most of those moments, turns into memories that will not soon be forgotten.
In the bible Titus 2:4-5 tells us “And so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled.”
“She looks well to the ways of her household and does not eat the bread of idleness.”
“Train up a child in the way he should go; even when he is old he will not depart from it.”
1 Timothy 3:12 tells us

“Let deacons each be the husband of one wife, managing their children and their own households well.”

I don’t say any of these things to tell you that you have to be a stay at home mom, only you and your husband with God’s guidance can make that decision. I am saying, if it is at all possible, do it. Enjoy it, embrace it! It will be one of the most rewarding careers you could ever have. I am saying also that if your work outside of the home causes you to neglect your family, it is wrong. You as the woman of the house have biblical responsibilities. You need to provide a loving, caring, safe environment for your family.

Be a proverbs 31 Woman, wear that title proudly and boldly!!
Do not be ashamed!!

Men if you have done whatever it takes to Man Up and make sure your wife was able to stay home with your children, all the while NEVER throwing it in her face that you allowed her to stay home or that the money you make is yours. Sometimes working one, two, three or more jobs? You are a man to be admired. You have stepped up to the plate and batted 1000. You should be proud of that fact.  Wives you should be proud of your men. Tell them that! Sweet Man is a man to be admired. And I am proud to be his wife and the mother to his beautiful girls.

Peace, Love and Be Blessed

Proverbs 31

Epilogue: The Wife of Noble Character

10 [b]A wife of noble character who can find?
    She is worth far more than rubies.
11 Her husband has full confidence in her

    and lacks nothing of value.
12 She brings him good, not harm,

    all the days of her life.
13 She selects wool and flax

    and works with eager hands.
14 She is like the merchant ships,

    bringing her food from afar.
15 She gets up while it is still night;

    she provides food for her family
    and portions for her female servants.
16 She considers a field and buys it;

    out of her earnings she plants a vineyard.
17 She sets about her work vigorously;

    her arms are strong for her tasks.
18 She sees that her trading is profitable,

    and her lamp does not go out at night.
19 In her hand she holds the distaff

    and grasps the spindle with her fingers.
20 She opens her arms to the poor

    and extends her hands to the needy.
21 When it snows, she has no fear for her household;

    for all of them are clothed in scarlet.
22 She makes coverings for her bed;

    she is clothed in fine linen and purple.
23 Her husband is respected at the city gate,

    where he takes his seat among the elders of the land.
24 She makes linen garments and sells them,

    and supplies the merchants with sashes.
25 She is clothed with strength and dignity;

    she can laugh at the days to come.
26 She speaks with wisdom,

    and faithful instruction is on her tongue.
27 She watches over the affairs of her household

    and does not eat the bread of idleness.
28 Her children arise and call her blessed;

    her husband also, and he praises her:
29 “Many women do noble things,

    but you surpass them all.”
30 Charm is deceptive, and beauty is fleeting;

    but a woman who fears the Lord is to be praised.
31 Honor her for all that her hands have done,

    and let her works bring her praise at the city gate.

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